How do we protect against our family members interfering in our funeral wishes?

Make your funeral preferences crystal clear in your will

Could you put it in your will?

I’m no expert in the subject, but possibly by dictating arrangements in your Wills

Well, for one, you could tell them to have some morals and respect your wishes! If they had any decency, this is what they would do.

However, we know that the world doesn’t work that way. Go and see a solicitor who will draw up plans for your ‘last wishes’. If this is all legally binding, no one can do otherwise or they will be breaking the law.

Here in the US there is a living will and power of attorney.Your laws are very different.

In the U.S., each state has its own laws regarding who gets to make the funeral arrangements for a deceased person (e.g., spouse if married, if not then then parent(s) if any living, if not then siblings if any living, etc.)

Generally, in the US, you can sign a notarized document which specifies the person(s) you want to make your funeral arrangements.

Hospitals, funeral homes, etc. will honor this document.

You need to talk to a solicitor (?) in the UK to see if there is a similar document.

Note – You would have to work fast after the other dies to ensure the family does not try to spirit away the body before you can provide your document to the appropriate hospital and funeral home personnel. If your SO goes into the hospital, and will probably die, make sure you provide the document to them ASAP & get assurances that they will honor it.

DO NOT PUT IT IN A WILL, since that is often not found until after the funeral, and it takes a court a few days/weeks (at least) to do anything based on a will after it is admitted for probate.

Have your funeral preplanned and use an outside (Non-Family) Executor on your Last Will & Testament

In a will

Uh…generally a will is not located or read untill weeks after a person dies.

You need a pre-arranged funeral service and a person charged with executing your wishes in that venue.

You make a will. In that will you designate someone you trust to see out your funeral wishes. You put your funeral details in the will.

I would also go ahead and find someone who does Humanist funerals and specify that they do your funeral.

You make a will in which you stipulate that you BOTH want a Humanist funeral to be arranged by your next-of-kin who you state in your will as your partner or next appointed person (you stipulate).

i am a fellow humanist with a devote catholic extended family – i.e grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. If i was you then i would write up a will and get a executive – this is a person that makes sure ALL parts of the will is carried out – including the funeral – so this person idealy would be a non-family member that wants to do what is right. if at the time of you funeral family members argue about this then it is shame on them – they are very unlikely be able to change it as this is you will and wishes!

Make a will and also become civil partners – if you don’t your partner will have no say in any medical treatment you might require eg life support, emergency treatment. You really need to formalise your relationship for complete peace of mind.