How can you forgive family who has betrayed and hurt you?

As hard as it will be to do, you just need to forgive them and just move on. Nothing worse than your own family hurting you. It kind of makes you think, who can you trust if you cant trust your own family? Any way, the only thing to do is forgive but not forget…. Im always a forgiving person, but I dont forget, because if I do, then I will end up getting hurt again. You just live and learn. But those who wrong us only make us stronger. Best wishes

Leave them in your past and move on. There’s no room for hate or pain in the present and future.

If you can’t forgive, you’re in a heap of trouble. However, there is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.

Ask yourself, does not forgiving them make me happier or more upset.

We hold grievances yet we don’t realize that holding them only serves to make us upset.

You don’t have to be their friends but if you replace your anger with love you will become happier.

Love at a distance until they Truly are sorry and convince you of it.

Why should you bother?

The answer is that being unable to forgive is more harmful to you than any betrayal you have felt from them.

Sorry, but I really don’t have any answer for your problem. You are the person in control of your life and only you can find the solution.

Of course, seeking professional help isn’t a bad idea, either. I’m just not a professional when it comes to psychology and the things you need.

When you decide in your mind to forgive, your heart will follow later.

You don’t have to be completely reconciled to them afterward.

Continuing in unforgiveness robs you, and not the offender, of joy.

As long as you harbor that betrayal in your heart, they continue to hurt you and wield some kind of power in your life. Let it go; life moves to quickly to waste time on people who do not have your best interest in mind. Look at it like that and forgiveness should be a lot easier.

Some times it’s hard to do… but as long as they have changed their ways, apologized and are working to make it right then it’s a ton easier than if they don’t… So unless they are willing to right the wrong against you I would (like someone else suggested) just leave them in your past and work towards your future.

If you are evolved…

or truly enlightened….

Then it will be nearly impossible to offend you.

The only option for the truly enlightened person towards someone who would harm, is pity.

Maybe if you saw the betrayal as a reflection of their character it might evoke some sympathy in you toward them? When we sin (ie harm another) ultimately we hurt ourselves more. Good luck moving beyond a painful past.

U HAVE TO REMEMBER To be forgotten u must forgive.I’m not talking about your family to forgive U it’s more like god.He won’t forgive your sins if u don’t forgive others.

forgive them but don’t trust them until they earn it.

Put yourself in their shoes, there’s always a reason why someone acts the way they do. Don’t let it split you away from the ones you love, try to understand. I made that mistake and by the time I realised why they had acted that way it was too late.

I agree with Monmichka, as long as you hold on to the anger and hurt, they have the power to keep victimizing you. Forgive them for your own sake. That doesn’t mean you ever have to trust or even have a relationship with them. You can forgive them and move on. We don’t have to keep toxic people in our lives even if they are family. I wouldn’t give them the power to continue to hurt me by holding on to the pain. I’ve been there. It may not be easy, but it is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Good luck!
~Peace~

Your problem seems to be "bitterness" that is working inside of you.

Take a deep breath, rise above this matter with forgiveness and move on. Your forgiveness toward their betrayal will work inside of those who hurt you in ways you can never imagine.

You can also profit from the valuable lesson you have learned here… which prepares you to avoid this in the future around these particular people.

Additionally, if you care about your soul in the face of eternity you would "forgive them"… because the bible tells us that unless we forgive… we cannot be forgiven.

Time, No one can tell you to forget, someone betrayed you and you dont have to trust them but you have to understand people make mistakes we do things we dont want to do… we make choices without thinking of consequences. What would happen if you made a choice which made people feel betrayed, no matter what you say your intentions were, they set there minds to think as you betrayed them… Make sure you see both sides and try to see things from your point of view….. forgive it to understand that people make mistakes doesnt mean you have to like or love them, and it doesnt mean you have to trust them…… My father betrayed my mom and it tore apart my family….. for a while i hated him but i understood that he made a choice… even though it was a wrong one and any person could have done it… i dont like him i dont see him as my father i dont talk to him i dont trust him but i dont hate them anymore im fine .. w/o him in my life ….

Time is the best remedy…. try to see the big picture all angels.. try to see the situation he or she was put in and try to understand the choice they made… Try to understand why…

i trully hope all goes good … whoever you are i know you will forgive…. GOD BLESS

Only time and prayer will help if you make a conscious decision to move on. God will help you if you are sincere.

This may seem to be an oblique answer to your important question, but if you consider it, I believe you will see how you can utilize it to help you…..It’s like 2+2=4.

When you realize that you have made a mistake in a mathematical operation, what do you do?

You correct the mistake, right?

After the mistake is corrected and the answer is revealed, you acknowledge to yourself that this is so.

…..and then, go on to the next problem that needs correction.

You are the only one who is responsible for "recovering/rebuilding your dignity and self-respect" in your OWN assessment, in the very same manner. You cannot change the world any more than you can change the perfect principles that MADE THE WORLD or YOU….nor do you have to….

You only need to change erroneous ideas about yourself within YOURSELF. Then, and ONLY then, can you BE THE CHANGE you’ve discovered as truth within…. for YOURSELF. Others, within themselves, decide FOR THEMSELVES, to accept or reject the idea they perceive you presenting as Truth. Do you see?

As a matter of Truth, the ONLY way we know if we have even made a mistake in perception or operation is BECAUSE the principles of Life operate perfectly, without the slightest deviation, variation, or attenuation at ANY time or in ANY place for ANYBODY!

Otherwise, we would not know what electricity perfectly does FOR us when utilized correctly. Or we wouldn’t know what electricity perfectly does TO us when operated incorrectly, either.

If you consider this carefully, what is referred to as, goodness including love, patience, kindness, self-control, faithfulness and gentleness", is analogous to what the immutable principle of electricity does FOR you when operated consistent with its purpose.

Conversely, what is referred to as "The acts of our brokenness, hatred, discord, sexual immorality, dissensions, greed, laziness, hatred, jealousy, fits of rage, drunkenness, envy, selfish ambition and the like….." are analogous to what the immutable principle of electricity does TO you when it is operated incorrectly.

This is about G I G O…..

Garbage in, garbage out….perfectly !!

Perfect input, perfect output….perfectly !!

NOT BECAUSE there is inherent EVIL or GOOD in US!

NOT BECAUSE there is inherent EVIL or GOOD in God’s Creation.

NOT BECAUSE we are flawed.

It is because the infinite SYSTEM of which we are a part OPERATES FLAWLESSLY….

It is because this infinite SYSTEM was created by the same Source Who created perfect principles of Life, such as mathematics which operate undeviatingly to create ONLY 4 as the answer to 2+2….

THIS is the operative principle behind "Ye shall reap what you sow"…..for good or ill.

The gift in BEING FREE to make mistakes is precisely so that we can LEARN HOW TO CORRECT THEM….not in being penalized (going to hell) for making mistakes !! This is how we learn to manifest 4 by adding 2 plus 2, and by recognizing that 4 is the correct solution in EVERY instance.

The same SOURCE who created the perfect principles of mathematics which operate immutably to create ONLY 4 as the correct sum of 2+2 ALSO CREATED US out of perfect principles!!

Don’t believe me? Try MAKING 2+2=5 !! See?

A lie (false perception) believed CAN NEVER be the Truth !! Ask Adam and Eve if a false perception believed could ever be the Truth.

But the ADVERSE EFFECT upon one’s perception of Truth remains, doesn’t it? The correct answer CAN NEVER come out of erroneous perception or operation.

ONLY CORRECTING THE ERROR IN PERCEPTION AND APPLICATION CAN DO THIS !!

G I G O…..perfectly !!

Forgiveness is OUR acknowledgement to OURSELVES that it is our or another’s CONDUCT of the perfect "math" of Life that is MISTAKEN (and requires correction), not that THEY or you are the mistake.

UNTIL THIS IS ACKNOWLEDGED BY YOU…..there is an inescapable consequence to this perception, which is, simply, that you remain in error (in ignorance) of the truth, until you realize it AND act accordingly with it. As soon as we correct the error (in conduct or operation), that act ERASES the effect of the ignorance immediately so that we can SEE and EXPERIENCE for ourselves the FACT which has been perfectly and ALWAYS true even BEFORE we were aware of our error.

…….We see that the correct answer (Truth) NEVER CHANGED AT ALL……nor, in all Reality, have we!

2+2 is ALWAYS 4 perfectly and unchangeably.

Your sole responsibility in your recovery is to "do the math", within yourself and acknowledge that this is so.

Others, are solely responsible for their own perceptions, their conduct, and for their assessments of their world (including how they perceive you).

Perfection, Itself created us perfectly, as well. And precisely like that equation, you can NEVER be ANYONE but yourself…..perfectly.

Please understand that I am only using this math equation as a metaphor for how Life "adds up" because the principles upon which Life is based are perfect…..unchangeably perfect as God is perfect.

As perfectly created Spiritual Beings, having, and exercising the ability to question and explore the spiritual, scientific principles of Creation and come to our OWN correct OR incorrect conclusions does not detract from its perfection (or OURS) one whit!

Again, 2+2 is ALWAYS 4 perfectly and unchangeably.

We are absolutely free to choose to believe that 2+2=5 for as long as we want. We may (or may not) recognize that we have MADE A MISTAKE, in perception or conduct, certainly. Regardless, the consequences of INCORRECTLY applying the PERFECT principles governing this mathematics equation are inescapable….but correctable. It is only when the correct perception IS CORRECTLY APPLIED, that the resultant "answer" enables us to declare the truth of that experience to ourselves. The consequences of CORRECTLY applying the principles of mathematics….

…… (or those governing our own Being)…..

are ALSO inescapable, to our eternal good.

We are no more obligated to beat ourselves up over and over and over again for our OWN or SOMEONE ELSE’S mistaken perceptions than we are required to keep reading the same sentence in the "Book" of our lives over and over again.

No sooner than we correct the mistaken perception inside ourselves, and apply the solution….that the benefit leads to further experience to correctly apply principles that YOU KNOW are now a permanent part of you.

….and when your family is ABLE to ALSO do this WITHIN THEMSELVES, they too will benefit from a clear understanding…..but not UNTIL then…..

YOU do realize that YOU have the same power THEY DO to give to yourself, or to WITHHOLD from yourself the benefit of forgiveness, right?

Benefit of forgiveness ?? Forgiveness FREES you TO live your life to the fullest.

That’s what forgiveness is……correcting OUR own erroneous, disabling perceptions, not waiting for someone else to correct theirs…..so that WE can be our most empowered, unencumbered, loving selves.

G I G O…..perfectly !!

That is how WE grow into a mature realization of our infinite, PERFECT potential FOR OURSELVES……

Hope this helps….

Orin

Some betrayals are unforgivable….My family killed my life…I found out that my whole family life was one big lie……There is no truth.

Hi,i found my sister was stealing for me for 10 years. Since i found out which is 2 years ago i can not forgive her, i think about what she did every day. I feel horible, i tried to contact her and reconcile but she avoids me. I want to forget about her, about she exist. It is unbearable. I cannot describe my feelings, anger, disapointment, regret i trusted her. I blame myself for been naive, stupid. I feel i am in her prison. The family mom and father do not support me. They think i have enough money to replace what she stole, but is about betrayal not the material stuff. Any sugestion how to forget about her.

In the early 1960′s Ann Landers addressed this question by saying “hate is like acid, it hurts mainly the container in which it’s stored” I never forgot that column, I read it in the paper,on the bus on the way to work when I was 19 years old. I think about it everytime something hurtful comes up within family.
She was a wise woman.